We all know situations where we feel overwhelmed by a sense of insecurity, where we doubt ourselves. The effect in our relationships is as follows: we vacillate between, on the one hand, the desire to invest in others and on the other, the inability to manage our emotions and our need for reassurance.
Loving your neighbor and loving yourself is quite a program.
An established identity
“You have to be able to love yourself to be able to love the other,” says Véronique Rochat, theologian. Without an identity established and established in God, relationships are more difficult, because they are more susceptible and more fragile. The capacity to love and therefore to love ourselves is a gift from God, love being a fruit of the Spirit which matures in us.
How do I see myself? How do I talk to myself? How do I treat myself? The answers give us the temperature of our self-esteem. If it is at its lowest, it is time to take matters in hand, with the support of God's gaze on us. To love yourself is to accept yourself in your strengths and weaknesses.
To love your neighbor better
“If I see the other as I see myself, I see a creature that God loves and that is what makes love of neighbor possible,” notes Rita Piguet. “For me,” says Mélanie, 26, “to love my neighbor is to put myself in his place”. “Keeping a benevolent gaze even when I don't agree with him,” says Nicole, 51. To love your neighbor as yourself is ultimately to do to others what we would like them to do for us. A relationship where identities are established and where the desire to build the other is central produces "a round trip." The other gives me an image of myself, it can be positive and encourage me, or more critical and edify me if I'm ready to question myself, ”says Véronique Rochat.
It's up to us to search our hearts. The basis of a successful relationship with others is to find ways to give. If the question "how to love the other" is too abstract, let us ask ourselves how to serve and bless him. This automatically implies action. “It has to be concrete,” explains Olivia, 27. “And it's not just a one-off action. For example, it is being available, being faithful over the long term, so that the other person knows that he can count on me ”.
Our act of love has a boomerang effect: it makes us happy and therefore blesses us. It helps to edify us because it allows us to shift our focus from our own life and to see what is sown in the life of the other.
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