Jessica dorsey, a Gospel artist recognized in the French-speaking world, is mobilizing to free women from the trap of comparison and fear of the gaze of others, through an awareness campaign led by I-compare myself.
Si you have the impression that others are necessarily better than you, and that it is pointless to seek to pursue your dreams. If you realize that other people's opinions of you are so important that you don't know how to let go of it. You are far from being alone! Jessica Dorsey recounts in this interview her personal struggle against the scourge of comparison. She is now a source of encouragement for those who also need to free themselves from the gaze of others.
How would you describe the scourge of comparison in the artistic world in which you operate?
The comparison is not only rife in the artistic world, I was confronted with this phenomenon in the first place in my private life. We can be supervised by the best, have a reactive team and focused on our various projects, but when doubt germinates in our mind, all the certainties that we had vanish. Why am I talking about doubt you will tell me? Simply because of our lack of self-confidence.
We often tend to want the opinion and approval of others, those of our loved ones, our followers and professionals, precisely because of this lack of confidence in ourselves and in our own abilities. Having their blessing allows us to prove ourselves right even in doubt. But this can easily mislead us.
While everyone can have an opinion on everything, that doesn't mean they are necessarily right!
When we take the time to analyze the comments made to us, we always find these little comments that sow doubt in our mind. This means that the gaze of others would push us to identify with the image they have of us, diverting us from our true image, such as:
- "Your voice reminds me of Mary Mary"
- "You should look more like Cece Winans and be a spokesperson like Maggie Blanchard"
- "Be careful that we don't make you another Jessica Dorsey"
- "You saw the new clip for Tendry frankly I'm not a fan, I prefer Andy Mineo's. "
It doesn't take much to compare, and the consequences can be dangerous and disastrous, no matter how strong we are.
Would you say that you still suffer today from the comparison in your personal and professional life?
Indeed, I am still a victim of comparison, but today I know how to make sense of things.
Being a gospel artist is not easy, let alone being a woman. You have to pay attention to everything and everyone. The way we dress, do our hair, introduce ourselves, express ourselves ...
Hear yourself say things like:
- "Woman, shut up"
- "This girl is a Jezebel" [Woman of the Bible who is a bad influence on others]
- "She shows her voluptuousness"
- "I don't like her music, it doesn't come from God"
Or find videos online that are doctored to damage your image and distort your words. All this aroused very serious questions in me to the point of considering stopping all activity or trying to get closer to the image that others wanted me to have.
God, thank you, you gave me certain faculties and a strong character which allow me today to take a step back and reflect.
Apart from the constructive and useful remarks, I try not to dwell on the comments of the "angry" who would in reality be "fans in spite of themselves", as a dear friend had pointed out to me. I would never stop repeating it:
God created diversity. If we all thought the same, had the same tastes, the same clothes and acted the same way, life would be a nightmare!
Be chrÉtien allows us to discover how God sees us. But often, accepting it is easier said than living it on a daily basis. How are you doing Jessica?
I can say without hesitation that getting to know God is the most beautiful experience I have on a daily basis. With Him, I have confidence, I know that I have value, that he has made me a wonderful creature and that I am loved despite everything.
With God, I am still learning this winding adventure as I have to admit that I tend to want to do things the way I want to. After having suffered several failures around certain projects when I thought I could achieve it, these trials made me aware of my limits, of my subjective appreciation of my character which could hurt others and that others could, too, hurt me, despite my confidence.
I will always remember that Saturday morning when my pastor said:
If you really want to know who you are, ask God to put you in front of your mirror.
What's the point ? Either way, I'm a bad person, I do everything wrong and my character is not receptive to communication - according to my friends at the time. Only, I didn't know at the time that this character, which seemed to pose a problem to me, was one of my best weapons against comparison!
I had the click of my identity in God, different from the one I had, when I realized that some of my faults could become my greatest strengths: I became more combative, more thoughtful, more demanding and above all, I accepted myself as I am.
I don't have to lower my standards to please others. My goal is to please God, the rest is vanity.
You are a personality and by that, others could easilyidentifier yours. What advice can you give them to discover their own identity and stand out from your image?
God made us different and unique. He created us in his image.
So here are my tips for all readers:
- Do not look elsewhere for what God has already put in you but which you do not yet see.
- Serve god with all your heart
- Know your qualities and your faults, your strengths and your weaknesses.
- Stand up for your convictions and make choices
- Don't compare yourself to others, you don't know what they went through to be where they are today.
- Prioritize your dating
- From the remarks and criticisms that one makes to you, take the teaching and reject what dishonors God and your person.
- Don't live your life vicariously.
- Be yourself
We can't please everyone! Will that prevent you from living for all that?
I have good news for you: absolutely not!
As we know, this scourge rages on a daily basis and we need to lead the fight from day to day. What are you doing concretely so as not to fall into the comparison?
- I take time with God to train my mind to see what he sees in me
- I occupy my mind with something else, creating new melodies
- I enter my bubble to keep my objectivity and cultivate my positive attitude.
- And if I have nothing encouraging to say to my neighbor, I will shut up.
Thank you Jessica Dorsey for mobilizing to free women from the comparison that is so prevalent today.
Do you want to learn to detach yourself from the gaze of others to become fully you and regain self-confidence? Sign up for the 10 Thoughts to Beat Comparison campaign for free and share this information with the women around you so that more people can be freed from this scourge:
God don't forget you, you are important to Him too!
Interview transmitted by Bastien Cuenot
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