“When I felt like this on God's knees, it was as if He was telling me: 'I am great, I am greater than your pains, I am greater than your traumas. "
In Brazil, Clara's childhood was perilous. Her father, a drug dealer, was murdered when she was one year old. Her mother, a drug addict, abandoned her. Her uncles and cousins abused her when she was only 7 years old. But at 10, she turned to God. It is he who will restore his shattered life.
At her father's funeral, Clara, then one year old, is in her mother's arms. A Christian comes to tell the mother a prophecy.
“This baby on your knees will be a great instrument used in the hands of the Lord.”
However, his future seemed to be drawn towards another horizon. After the death of his father, his mother abandons him with her sisters to family members. Clara will grow up with her paternal grandmother.
“I grew up in a deplorable and miserable environment, on an avenue on the edge of a ditch. I remember the house only had broken walls. I grew up with my father's family, who lived on the same avenue as us. My uncles mistreated and humiliated me. They told me that I would be like my father, that I would be the wife of a bandit with the children of several men. "
At the age of 7, she was sexually assaulted by her uncles and cousins.
Then, when she was 10 years old, her mother realized in what environment she was growing up. She returns to fetch her and obtains custody from the court. She is transformed because she has met Jesus. Carla then discovers the church.
“The church became my best environment, a place I loved to be. Hearing the sermons affected me a lot and wanted to read the Bible, but despite being 10 years old, I still could not read, my mother did not consider school education a priority. "
Her mother eventually turns away from God, but Carla, at only 12 years old, has a "firm and unwavering faith." The young teenager is baptized.
“My mother then started to abandon me and my sister several times. She disappeared, without giving a destination. Despite all of these upheavals, I have kept my faith firm and unwavering. My life was for the work of God. As for my mother, at that time, although it was a blessing at church, at home with us the treatment was different. And that often brought me very deep emotional issues. "
But the hatred she feels for her mother remains a trauma for her.
“I served God but harbored a hatred for my mother, triggering a return to the trauma of childhood. On several occasions I have been tempted to feel like a victim, but God has always sent people to compensate for the absences, the abandonment, the lack of affection. "
One day, she had an experience where she felt the love of God.
“That day I felt on God's knees! I envisioned God as a giant, a great one, and I was so small in the hollow of his arms! When I felt like this on God's knees, it was as if He was telling me: 'I am great, I am greater than your pains, I am greater than your traumas'. "
At 16, she was welcomed by a Christian couple. “It was the time of my life when I was most devoted to the work of God,” explains Clara, “it was during this time that I was set apart to be a missionary”.
She is now married and has two children. She claims that her wounds were an instrument in the hands of God.
“Today I can say: What was supposed to kill me made me stronger. I have no grievances or hatred for my mother. In fact, today I love her like nothing has happened. I learned that my wounds were the instrument that the Great God placed at my disposal so that I could become the protagonist of my own victory. "
source: guide me
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