Are you aware of the change that God can work in you? Today's text gives us a glimpse of things that may not be in you, or should I say, not yet in you. You can read with me 2 Timothy 1: "For the Holy Spirit that God has given us does not make us timid. On the contrary, this Spirit fills us with strength, love and self-control."
When I was a child, I was terrified of being questioned in front of the whole class. It was the time when students were regularly called upon to stand in front of the whole class to recite a text learned by heart.
I remember that I was trying to hide behind my comrade in front of me, so as not to be interrogated; I hated that! When my parents invited friends over, I was sickly shy, to the point of having stomach aches.
When I passed my entrance exams to the conservatory, I repeated in my head each situation, each smell in each corridor, the look of the jury; and this in order to transcend the fear of the unknown, the fear of judgement.
I had even realized that this fear was perhaps linked only to the totally unknown and uncontrollable context. I managed to have access to the competition room the day before, in order to mark with chalk the underside of one of the armchairs in the front rows.
Yes, so I thought, since there is something written there, under an armchair, something that only I know, that only I know, so therefore I should be able to break this fear, this stage fright, and exceed.
In a way, it gave me an advantage, although probably only on a psychological level. Much later in my life, when the Lord called me to preach, to teach, to speak in public, I remember the very first times when I was going to vomit before going up on the platform.
gabriel alonso (article originally published on February 28, 2023)